Do not even listen, only wait. Do not even wait, be wholly still and alone. The world will present itself to you for its unmasking, it can do no other, in ecstasy it will writhe at your feet. One red petunia in a window box will look very beautiful if all the rest of them are white, and vice-versa. A man gets an immense amount of satisfaction from the knowledge of having done good work and of having made the best use of his day, and when I am in this state I find that I thoroughly enjoy my rest and even the mildest forms of recreation. A reminder can instantly turn enthusiasm into aversion and spoil everything.
June 18th, Dreams, books, are each a world; and books, we know, Are a substantial world, both pure and good: Round these, with tendrils strong as flesh and blood, Our pastime and our happiness will grow. In later life we admire, we are entertained, we may modify some views we already hold, but we are more likely to find in books merely a confirmation of what is in our minds already…What do we ever get nowadays from reading to equal the excitement and the revelation in those first fourteen years?
A door which one thought was closed, a watch that is slow, a false step, a traffic jam, a sleeping car available…and your fate is settled…We walk across a cemetery of happiness missed for lack of a word, a gesture, an airy bubble; and how many people, meant for each other, have passed each other by in the fog? What have they to do with me, the gastronomical me? What sea changes were there, to make me richer, stranger?
I grew older with each one, like every other wanderer. My hungers altered: I knew better what and how to eat, just as I knew better how I loved other people, and even why. Fisher, The Gastronomical Me. But what we put into it is ours. Out of date, but loyal to his own time. At a certain moment, after all, every man chooses: will he go forward, will he go back? There was nothing dishonorable in not being blown about by every little modern wind.
The idea that a goal can be attained perpetually frustrates human beings, who are disappointed at never getting there, never being able to stop. They absorb almost everything, make almost everything small, apart from the few events that are so immense that they lay waste to all the everyday trivia around you. Perhaps we feel like that when we die and become a part of something entire, whether it is sun and air, or goodness and knowledge.
At any rate, that is happiness; to be dissolved into something complete and great. Everything…we deny, denigrate or despise, serves to defeat us in the end. What seems nasty, painful, evil, can become a source of beauty, joy and strength, if faced with an open mind. Every moment is a golden one for him who has the vision to realize it as such.
All constraint injures it to force its springs, destroys it. We all carry about us indices of our destiny; these must not be effaced, but watched, if our career is not to be a miserable failure. I was born scared and am still scared. This has sometimes tested my courage almost beyond endurance. Boredom is the dream bird that hatches the egg of experience.
There is always something to see, something to hear. The life of the spirit requires less and less; time is ample and its passage sweet. The preachers tell us that this is impossible. It seems to me that hitherto I have succeeded fairly well. I will not say that I have never scorched a finger,--but I carry no ugly wounds. A man could say every day that he wanted to change his life, was going to change it, and every day the lament became merely a part of the life he was already living, so that the desire for change was in fact a kind of stasis that allowed the unchanged life to continue, because at least the man knew to disapprove of it, which reassured him not all was lost.
I took her for a pedicure. We went to a bad movie and then stayed for a second bad movie. I took her shopping and bought her whatever she wanted. And she was happy, and I was happy. Do thou, too, remain warm among ice. Do thou, too, live in this world without being of it.
Be cool at the equator; keep thy blood fluid at the Pole. Like the great dome of St. Is there something that leaks out of the closed books, some subliminal message about culture and aspiration? A big farm woman brought us tea and bread, and pots of wild green honey. It was one of the most idyllic moments I have ever known, very sharp, like a Breughel painting. All admit irregularity as they imply change; and to banish imperfection is to destroy expression, to check exertion, to paralyze vitality. All things are literally better, lovelier, and more beloved for the imperfections which have been divinely appointed, that the law of human life may be Effort, and the law of human judgment, Mercy.
That is, I think, finally, the only real question. Usually these miracles happen when a person is young, but still wide-eyed enough to catch the magic that older people have forgotten or pushed away. For countless children, Disneyland has it…For both tourists and natives, the Changing of the Guard at Buckingham Palace does well…prancing horses, flashing sabers, plumes and capes and trumpets in the fog…the Palace is in safe hands, a solid dream.
Humor contains contradictions; it does not resolve them but revels in them. It says that the right way to exist among the contradictions, paradoxes, and absurdities of life is to cope with them through laughter. If these few patterns are good for me, I can live well. March 20th, "One of the breakthrough moments [of doing stand-up comedy] for me was realizing that No one can tell you how to play that instrument.
There is no being sure of anything except that whatever has been created will change in time Where they fail is in answering the questions they ask themselves, and even there they do not fail by much…But it takes time, it takes humility and a serious reason for searching. March 15th, "There is a way of refusing that is so gracious Therese of Lisieux.
March 8th, "The things that we love tell us what we are. March 7th, "You learn more about a person by living in his house for a week than by years of running into him at social gatherings. March 6th, "To live in perpetual want of little things is a state, not indeed of torture but of constant vexation. March 5th, "Order is Heaven's first law. March 4th, "If you want a golden rule that will fit everybody, this is it: have nothing in your house that you do not know to be useful, or believe to be beautiful.
It is cheap, it consoles, it distracts, it excites, it gives you knowledge of the world and experience of a wide kind. Our habits measure us. Therese of Lisieux, Story of a Soul. Perhaps one regrets them the most. Routine is a condition of survival. February 4th, "Assume a virtue, if you have it not. That monster, Custom, who all sense doth eat Of habits evil, is angel yet in this, That to the use of actions fair and good He likewise gives a frock or livery, That aptly is put on. Refrain to-night, And that shall lend a kind of easiness To the next abstinence; the next more easy: For use can almost change the stamp of nature, And master even the devil, or throw him out, With wondrous potency.
He that neglects his known duty and real employment naturally endeavours to crowd his mind with something that may bar out the remembrance of his own folly, and does anything but what he ought to do with eager diligence, that he may keep himself in his own favour. The forest glade would be incomplete without the humming-bird. To shed joy around, to radiate happiness, to cast light upon dark days, to be the golden thread of our destiny, and the very spirit of grace and harmony, is not this to render a service?
Every intensification is good. The second is to be kind. And the third is to be kind. The first is by creating a work or doing a deed. The second is by experiencing something or encountering someone; in other words, meaning can be found not only in work but also in love…Most important, however, is the third avenue to meaning in life: even the helpless victim of a hopeless situation, facing a fate he cannot change, may rise above himself, may grow beyond himself, and by so doing change himself. January 21st, "Forgiveness is not an occasional act; it is a permanent attitude.
Every advance into knowledge opens new prospects, and produces new incitements to further progress. The little girl who eventually became me, but as yet was neither me nor anybody else in particular, but merely a soft anonymous morsel of humanity—this little girl, who bore my name, was going for a walk with her father. The episode is literally the first thing I can remember about her, and therefore I date the birth of her identity from that day.
To break out of it, we must make a new self. But how can the self make a new self when the selflessness which it is, is the only substance from which the new self can be made? December 19th, "Liberty is the daughter of authority properly understood. For to be free is not to do what one pleases; it is to be the master of oneself, it is to know how to act within reason and to do one's duty. It makes them feel bigger.
December 10th, It's all I have to bring today— This, and my heart beside— This, and my heart, and all the fields— And all the meadows wide— Be sure you count—should I forget Some one the sum could tell— This, and my heart, and all the Bees Which in the Clover dwell. I never said to myself that it was happening. It just came to me, or I came to it. As I buried the dead and walked among them, I wanted to make my heart as big as Heaven to include them all and love them and not be distracted. We may stand perfectly still, but our surroundings shift round and we are not in the same relationship to them for long; just as a chameleon, matching perfectly the greenness of a leaf, should know that the leaf will one day fade.
Somerset Maugham. The keenness of our vision depends not on how much we can see, but on how much we feel…. Nature sings her most exquisite songs to those who love her. That was the first beauty I ever knew. What the real garden had failed to do, the toy garden did. It made me aware of nature—not, indeed, as a storehouse of forms and colors but as something cool, dewy, fresh, exuberant…. Lewis, Surprised by Joy. Wasting time is merely an occupation then, and a most exhausting one.
We all know that something is eternal. November 5th, "There was another life that I might have had, but I am having this one. You can make it as big or as small as you want to. Scott Fitzgerald, The Crack-Up. If we read without inclination, half the mind is employed in fixing the attention; so there is but one half to be employed on what we read. We are happy when we are growing. There is nothing like staying home for real comfort. October 12th, "Smell is a potent wizard that transports us across a thousand miles and all the years we have lived.
In a way that almost amounts to just retribution, I am stuck with the results of all my choices. For all serious daring starts from within. There must be acceptance and the knowledge that sorrow fully accepted brings its own gifts. For there is an alchemy to sorrow. It can be transmuted into wisdom, which, if it does not bring joy, can yet bring happiness. Even writing the words brings a smile. To do nothing is often my most profitable way. Scott Fitzgerald, The Great Gatsby. Chesterton, "On Pleasure-Seeking". Acceptance that bears no relation to resignation, the bitter lees of a failure to rise to a challenge.
I am creeping forward on my belly like they do in war movies. She pulled in her horizon like a great fish-net. Pulled it from around the waist of the world and draped it over her shoulder. So much of life in its meshes! She called in her soul to come and see.
The Incredible and Sad Tale of Innocent Erendira and Her Heartless Grandmother
We can take a wonderful vacation in spirit, even though we are obliged to stay at home, if we will only drop our burdens from our minds for a while. But no amount of travel will give us rest and recreation if we carry our work and worries with us. I cannot think of myself apart from the influence of the two or three greatest friendships of my life, and any account of my own growth must be that of their stimulating and enlightening influence.
Even here in my own world, I have no relish for sweet corn in January or strawberries in November. Buck, My Several Worlds. Every tree and every line are incapable of concealment, and tell after two or three months exactly what sort of treatment they have had. The sower may mistake and sow his peas crookedly: the peas make no mistake but come and show his line. White, One made a climate within a climate; one made the days,--the complexion, the special flavor, the special happiness of each day as it passed; one made life.
I just feel things in my gut and I do them. If something sounds exciting and interesting, I do it—and then I worry about it later.
Annie (): a bizarre, patriotic portrait of capitalist white America
Doing new things takes a lot of energy and strength. Let them be left, O let them be left, wildness and wet; Long live the weeds and the wilderness yet. Never by taking thought but rather by action. Her normal life pleased her so well that she was half afraid to step out of its frame in case one day she should find herself unable to get back. I had to go out into the world and see it and hear it and react to it, before I knew at all who I was, what I was, what I wanted to be.
Act in the noon. Eat in the evening. Sleep in the night. Let your hook be always cast; in the pool where you least expect it, there will be a fish. One tulip is like the next tulip, but not altogether. More or less like people—a general outline, then the stunning individual strokes. In the motion of the very leaves of spring, in the blue air, there is then found a secret correspondence with our heart. It ranks immediately after health and a good conscience. Let him contrive to have as many retreats for his mind as he can, as many things to which it can fly from itself.
June 8th, "The pleasure of the table belongs to all ages, to all conditions, to all countries, and to all areas; it mingles with all other pleasures, and remains at last to console us for their departure. I did. And what did you want? To call myself beloved, to feel myself beloved on the earth. It is extraordinary to discover that comparatively few people reach this level of maturity. They seem never to have paused to consider what has value for them.
They spend great effort and sometimes make great sacrifices for values that, fundamentally, meet no real needs of their own. Perhaps they have imbibed the values of their particular profession or job, of their community or their neighbors, of their parents or family. You have missed the whole point of what life is for. The more experiments you make, the better. I know a lot of talented ruins.
Beyond talent lie all the usual words: discipline, love, luck, but, most of all, endurance. It is the principle of existence, and its only end. It holds all the hope there is, all fears. White, letter to Stanley Hart White January My wife, too, seemed willing to learn. Old as we must have looked to our children, we were still taking lessons, in how to be grown-up. Oh, be swift to love, make haste to be kind! You would not call such a man rich, neither would I call happy the man who is so without realizing it. The hard going had been a weariness, the cold a misery to the flesh. Look at Coach and the joy of the snow!
It is the most important time because it is the only time when we have any power. The other is to walk round the whole world till we come back to the same place. Chesterton, The Everlasting Man. But since nobody listens we have to keep going back and beginning all over again. Suddenly the room seemed suffused with the dream, and I could not think why.
Three men appeared out of nowhere, playing guitars. Pilar Wayne leaned slightly forward, and John Wayne lifted his glass almost imperceptibly toward her. They did not quite get the beat right, but even now I can hear them, in another country and a long time later, even as I tell you this.
That is what leisure means. And dreams are special things. Remain sitting at your table and listen. Do not even listen, simply wait. The world will freely offer itself to you to be unmasked, it has no choice, it will roll in ecstasy at your feet. Leave nothing for tomorrow which can be done today. A bee works; a beaver works and plays. Simplicity, simplicity, simplicity! This is the secret of happiness, but only reached now in middle age. There is a divinity about cats, as long as they are silent: the silence of swans gives them an air of legend.
In actual life it requires the greatest discipline to be simple, and the acceptance of oneself is the essence of the moral problem and the epitome of a whole outlook upon life. Jung, Modern Man in Search of a Soul. I enjoy it twice as much as others, for the measure of enjoyment depends on the greater or less attention that we give to it…The shorter my possession of life the deeper and fuller I must make it. If still boring, try it for eight, sixteen, thirty-two, and so on.
Any man who supposes the moon is always the same, regardless of the season, and is therefore unable to detect the difference in autumn, must be exceedingly insensitive. It is not rude, it is not self-seeking, it is not easily angered, it keeps no record of wrongs.
February 13th, Although you sit in a room that is gray, Except for the silver Of the straw-paper, And pick At your pale white gown; Or lift one of the green beads Of your necklace, To let it fall; Or gaze at your green fan Printed with the red branches of a red willow; Or, with one finger, Move the leaf in the bowl— The leaf that has fallen from the branches of the forsythia Beside you What is all this? I know how furiously your heart is beating. February 12th, "The satisfaction to be derived from success in a great constructive enterprise is one of the most massive that life has to offer.
One has to force oneself to act as though one did not have them in circumstances where a duty makes it imperative; and in the ordinary course of life one has to know these weaknesses, prudently take them into account, and strive to turn them to good purpose; for they are all capable of being put to some good purpose. Chesterton, Orthodoxy. Duncan put the magic pebble in an iron safe. Some day they might want to use it, but really, for now, what more could they wish for? They all had all that they wanted.
There was to be much fun, many pleasures, many stabs of Joy; but no more of the old security. It was sea and islands now; the great continent had sunk like Atlantis. January 23rd, "Slumbering in every human being lies an infinity of possibilities, which one must not arouse in vain.
For it is terrible when the whole man resonates with echoes and echoes, none becoming a real voice. I meant to climb the Matterhorn because to climb it was for me so improbable. For too many years now I had failed to surprise myself, to reach beyond my grasp. Conversely, finishing one's meal completely, especially the rice, indicates that one is satisfied and therefore does not wish to be served any more.
See also mottainai as Buddhist philosophy. It is impolite to pick out certain ingredients and leave the rest. One should chew with the mouth closed. It is acceptable to lift soup and rice bowls to the mouth so one does not spill food. Miso soup is drunk directly from its small bowl; larger soups and those with chunky ingredients may come with a spoon. Of course hashi "chopsticks" are always provided.
Noodles from hot soup are often blown on once lifted from the soup to cool them before eating; and it is appropriate to slurp certain foods, especially ramen or soba noodles. However, slurping is not practiced universally, and Western-style noodles pasta should not be slurped. It is uncommon for Japanese people to eat or drink while walking in public, and this is just one point of etiquette where it is wise to err on the side of conservatism. Drink vending machines in Japan generally have a recycling bin for used bottles and cans, so one can consume the drink there; and in summer months one may see groups drinking near a vending machine.
As a result, the attachment area may produce small splinters. Never rub chopsticks against each other to remove splinters: this is considered extremely rude, implying that one thinks the utensils are cheap. At the beginning of the meal, use the smooth bottom ends to pick up food from serving dishes if no other utensils have been provided for that purpose. Then eat, holding food between the bottoms of the hashi. If you later want to use your hashi to take more food from serving dishes, use the top ends to do so in order to avoid 'contaminating' the food on the tray.
At the end of the meal, it is good manners to return single-use chopsticks part way into their original paper wrapper; this covers the soiled sticks while indicating that the package has been used. In Japanese restaurants, customers are given a rolled hand towel called oshibori. It is considered rude to use the towel to wipe the face or neck; however, some people, usually men, do this at more informal restaurants. Nonwoven towelettes are replacing the cloth oshibori.
In any situation, an uncertain diner can observe what others are doing; and for non-Japanese people to ask how to do something properly is generally received with appreciation for the acknowledgment of cultural differences and expression of interest in learning Japanese ways.
- Alan Beale's Core Vocabulary Compiled from 3 Small ESL Dictionaries (21877 Words).
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When using toothpicks , it is good etiquette to cover one's mouth with the other hand. Blowing one's nose in public is considered rude, especially at a restaurant; cloth handkerchiefs should never be used for this purpose. Conversely, sniffling is considered acceptable, as an alternative to nose-blowing. When sneezing, it is polite to cover one's nose with a hand.
Chopsticks have been used in Japan since the Nara period For example, it is considered particularly taboo to pass food from chopsticks to chopsticks, as this is how bones are handled by the family of the deceased after a cremation. If one must pass food to someone else during a meal a questionable practice in public , one should pick up the food with one's own chopsticks, reversing the chopsticks to use the end which were not in direct contact with the handlers mouth, and place it on a small plate, allowing the recipient to retrieve it with the recipient's own chopsticks.
If no other utensils are available while sharing plates of food, the ends of the chopsticks are used to retrieve the shared food. Mismatched chopsticks are not to be used. Standing chopsticks vertically in a bowl of rice is to be avoided, as it recalls burning incense sticks standing up in sand, typically at funerals; the act of stabbing the chopsticks into the food resembles an action devout Buddhists perform when offering ceremonial food to their ancestors at the household shrine.
Placing chopsticks so that they point at someone else is considered a symbolic threat. It is considered an honor to be invited to someone's home in Japan. Many Japanese regard their homes as being too humble to entertain guests. Shoes are not worn inside — since the floor level is often higher than ground or entrance level or even the same height, Japanese don't want the floor to be stained by soil, sand or dust that may be attached to the soles.
Instead, shoes are removed in the genkan mudroom or entrance foyer , and often replaced with slippers called uwabaki. Just wearing socks is also acceptable in informal situations. Genkan are found in even small apartments, where they are correspondingly small, and feature a small step up. Socks, however, are not generally removed — bare feet are acceptable when visiting a close friend, but not otherwise. There are also separate slippers used when using a bathroom, for reasons of hygiene.
Wooden geta are provided for short walks outside when entering the house. It is generally considered polite to wear shoes instead of sandals, but sandal wearers may carry a pair of white socks to put over their bare feet or stockings, so that their bare feet will not touch the slippers that the host offers, or they may use tabi socks, worn with the sandals. The shoes are turned around so that the toe faces the door after taking them off. During the winter time, if a guest is wearing a coat or hat, the guest will remove the coat or hat before the host opens the door. When the guest is leaving, he or she does not put on the coat or hat until the door has closed.
Many people will ask a guest to open a gift, but if they do not, the Japanese will resist the urge to ask if they can open the gift. Since the act of accepting a gift can create a sense of unfulfilled obligation on the part of the receiver, gifts are sometimes refused, depending on the situation. One is for winter and the other is for summer. Gifts are given to those with whom one has a relationship, especially the people who have helped the gift giver.
At those period the subordinate will give gifts to superior at the office, a pupil gives something to the master at tea ceremony classes, and even offices will prepare courtesy gift to their business partners. Some items prominently displaying the numbers 4 and 9 should not be given, since the reading of 4 shi suggests death shi or 9 ku a homonym for suffering or torture ku. For wedding gift, mirrors and ceramic wares as well as glassware, scissors and knives are not appropriate gifts because of the symbology of breaking up or cutting the relationship, respectively.
If the recipient is older than the giver, or for those celebrating kanreki , shoes and socks are considered "to stamp on" the person. Another custom in Japan is for women to give men chocolate on Valentine's Day. Men who receive chocolate on Valentine's Day give something back to those they received from, one month later on White Day. Greetings are considered to be of extreme importance in Japanese culture. Students in elementary and secondary schools are often admonished to deliver greetings with energy and vigor. A lazy greeting is regarded with the type of disdain that would accompany a limp handshake in parts of the West.
Different forms of these greetings may be used depending on the relative social statuses of the speaker and the listener. The titles for people are -chan most often for female close friends, young girls or infants of either gender , -kun most often for male close friends, or young boys , -san for adults in general and -sama for customers, and also used for feudal lords, gods or buddhas.
Letter addresses, even those sent to close friends, are normally written in quite formal language. When a letter is addressed to a company employee at their place of work, the address should contain the full name of the place of work, as well as the title of the employee's position, and the full name of the employee. Personal letters are traditionally written by hand using blue or black ink, or with a writing brush and black ink.
The preferred paper is washi Japanese paper. Although letters may be written vertically or horizontally tategaki and yokogaki , vertical orientation is traditional and more formal. Red ink in letter writing should be avoided, since writing a person's name in red ink suggests a wish for that person to die. In Japan, holiday-goers do not send postcards. Instead, the tradition in Japan is for a holiday goer to bring back a souvenir, often edible see " Gifts and gift-giving ". If sent within a time limit, the Japanese post office will deliver the cards on the morning of New Year's Day.
These are decorated with motifs based on the year of the Chinese zodiac which is starting. They request the addressee's continued favor in the new year.
Nico Muhly’s Sonic Magic
If one receives a card from someone to whom one has not sent a card, etiquette dictates that one must send a card in return, to arrive no later than the seventh of January. However, if a relative of a person has died during that year, they will send a postcard written in black before the New Year apologizing for not sending a New Year's card. The rationale for this is that since their relative has died they cannot wish or experience a happy new year.
In this case, the etiquette is not to send them a New Year's Greeting either. Summer cards are sent as well. These often contain a polite inquiry about the recipient's health. They are usually sold from the post office and as such contain a lottery number. There is an entire grammatical rule-set for speaking respectfully to superiors, customers, etc.
This need for harmonious relationships between people is reflected in much Japanese behavior. Many place great emphasis on politeness, personal responsibility and working together for the universal, rather than the individual, good. They present disagreeable facts in a gentle and indirect fashion. They see working in harmony as the crucial ingredient for working productively. Japan is frequently cited by non-Japanese as a place where service is excellent. Such claims are difficult, if not impossible, to quantify.
Generally, service employees will seldom engage in casual conversation with a customer with the aim of forming a rapport as sometimes happens in western cultures. The service employees are expected to maintain a more formal, professional relationship with all customers. Private conversations among service staff are considered inappropriate when a customer is near. In general, as in most countries, etiquette dictates that the customer is treated with reverence.
In Japan this means that employees speak in a humble and deferential manner and use respectful forms of language that elevate the customer. Thus, customers are typically addressed with the title —sama roughly equivalent to "sir" or "madam" in English. A customer is not expected to reciprocate this level of politeness to a server. Dress for employees is normally neat and formal, depending on the type and style of establishment.
Public employees such as police officers , taxi drivers, and the pushers whose job is to ensure that as many people as possible board the rush-hour trains—and other types of employees who must touch people—often wear white gloves. The title you write on the center of the face side is defined by religion as well as when to bring either for the Japanese wake or for the funeral proper. Business cards should be exchanged with care, at the very start of the meeting.
Standing opposite each person, people exchanging cards offer them with both hands so that the other person can read it. Cards should be accepted with both hands and studied for a moment, then set carefully on the table in front of the receiver's seat or placed in one's business card holder with a smile. When meeting a group of people, cards can be put in front of the receiver on the table for reference during the conversation or immediately placed in the receiver's card holder.
Cards should never be put in one's pocket or wallet, nor should they be written on in the presence of the other person. From Wikipedia, the free encyclopedia. This article has multiple issues. Please help improve it or discuss these issues on the talk page. Learn how and when to remove these template messages.
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